Camp Winnebago Parent Letters

Homesickness Prevention

What is homesickness? Technically speaking, it is the distress or impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from home. It's characterized by acute longing and preoccupying thoughts of home and other beloved objects. Many times it is a result of a boy having had his roots pulled up in one place and not having them take hold firmly in the new place yet.

The grand majority of boys will miss something about home when they are away at Camp and homesick feelings are absolutely normal. Contrary to conventional wisdom, Camp's physical distance from a child's home has no impact at all on whether a child experiences homesickness while at camp and is not a predictor of success at camp.

Fortunately, severe homesickness is very rare. While practical experience has helped us to develop a number of truly effective ways to deal with homesickness at Camp, there are some simple things that you can do before Camp starts to reduce the chance that your son will feel homesickness. In addition, there are lots of things that you can do to support your son if he should experience serious homesickness while at Camp.

Prior to the start of Camp, talk with your child about homesickness. Most children are pretty good at predicting how strong their own homesick feelings will be, and talking about homesickness won't cause it, or make it worse. Let your son know that there might be times when he will feel a little homesick, even though he is having a great time at Camp and that is perfectly normal. Let him know that there are lots of things to think about or do to feel better if he feels homesick. Many campers have found that the following points help to reduce homesickness at camp:

• Do something fun - staying busy at Camp, in activities and with friends in between activities.
   

• Do something to feel closer to home - writing letters to family, looking at pictures and reading letters.
   

• Think about the good side of being at Camp - looking on the bright side makes a huge difference. Think of all the interesting and novel things you can do at camp that you can't do at home.
   

• Try to be happy and have fun - try to change the way that you feel...sometimes just thinking about feeling good is enough to change your mood.
   

• Remind yourself that Camp isn't really that long - seven + weeks isn't really that long a
  time...school lasts about 40 weeks! Thinking about how short Camp is can make a big difference.
   

• Talk with someone who can help you feel better - at Camp, there are many people around you who are there for support. Talk to your counselors or other staff. They are there to help you through tough times and they are experts at helping kids get over their homesickness!
   

Talking about these coping strategies and working on them with your son are great ways to diminish the chances that your son will have significant homesickness while at Camp.


Here are some things you can do as a parent to help reduce the potential that your son will feel homesick:

• Keep doubts to yourself - Try not to say things that will make your son worry about how you will feel when he's away at Camp. If you are uncertain about your child's ability to cope with homesickness, it is best to not share your doubts with your son. It is preferable for children to hear positive messages from their parents. If you let them know that you believe they can do it, they'll be more likely to succeed.
   

• Send your child a letter at Camp before the first day - receiving mail at Camp helps children to feel loved and remembered. Personal, positive letters from home are often the cure for almost any illness.
   

• Do not make deals about early pick-ups! Parents occasionally make pick-up deals in an innocent attempt to reduce pre-camp anxiety. Experience teaches us that this is not a good strategy. It is normal for boys to feel nervous and excited as Camp approaches and for campers to ask themselves whether Camp is such a good idea in the first place. Unfortunately, some well-meaning parents have tried to comfort their son by saying something like, "Well, if you still feel homesick, we will come to Camp and pick you up." This promise almost guarantees that the child will be homesick. They inevitably remember the discussion and hold onto your promise no matter how wonderful their camp experience.
   

There are two other reasons why pick up deals usually backfire. First, the deal sends a negative message. The message is "Mom and Dad don't think you can make it through Camp. We think you will be so homesick that the only solution will be to leave Camp." They also give boys a powerful, home-related thought to dwell on: The Pick-Up. Every time your son encounters a stressful situation at Camp, or feels a twinge of homesickness, his thoughts turn to the pick-up. "My parents said that if I don't like Camp, they'd come to pick me up." This thought becomes a mental crutch. The boy leans on it, rather than his developing skills to cope with his feelings.
 

If your son asks you straight out, "Mom, will you come pick me up if I get really homesick and hate Camp?" a good response could be, "You sound a little nervous about going to Camp. But I think you're really going to love it. It's normal to feel nervous before you go. If you do have some homesick feelings at Camp, there will be many people who can help you through those feelings. Even though you might have some homesick feelings, i think you're going to have a great time at Camp."
 

Learning to cope with homesickness is a skill your son can use the next time he's away from home. Once boys recognize the feeling of homesickness, cope with it, and survive a brief separation from home, their confidence about future separations skyrockets. They gain independence and self-confidence and like exercise, it may hurt a little, but it makes you stronger.